)(( hannah mello ))(

pieces (//////)

this is a photoless post about a thousand photos. framed faces, spaces, and a thousand action scenes. i'm leaving a corner of earth where pieces of me will always live. it's a terrible, powerful feeling.

maybe it's a feeling not too unique. maybe it's the same feeling that arrives whenever seasons are shifting or a move of some kind happens. an acknowledgment that one's self-expression will be different from here on out. it was before that time, and will be different forever after. it's the nature of life. there's a time for everything and a different angle to life and self and others that that particular time brings.

sucks. i hate reflexive emotions that you can't control. emotions that are reactionary/responsive. aren't all that way though? i guess when you're CONSCIOUS of them, that's when they really exist.

back to the photoless idea of photos. :)
i am a woman with a million photos. my computer knows i'm not exaddurating with this statement too, cause it's getting slower and slower with time. it can barely stand the weight of them. during the course of these 10 months of ceaseless photo-taking, i have discovered what is photoworthy, what is worth a risk to capture, what isn't, and when it's best to be camera-less and present in a different way.

i also have learned that, although photos (especially for me, being the very very visual person that i am) help one remember a moment's ambiance and details, some of life's moments (not just scenes, speaking of nature, architecture, sky, etc.)-- actions, events, people-- can't be photo-albulm-ed. i mourn this fact while at the same time embracing it with gratitude.

it's 2:15 am-- it's been a long day of speaking italian (fumbling over my mis-conjugations and animated but patchy sentence-creation) and enjoying beloved souls' company. today photos were taken. but in this moment of just black and white on a bright, bright computer screen, i find solice in the fact that those moments have transitioned from present to past to make way for somethings future.

((////thoughts on memories////))
why are life moments so silently shelved? those shelves of memory's safekeeping strangely shift over time. then, when they are accidentally or unexpectedly opened, one is overwhelmed with surprise with what's inside. so strange. things rearranged surprise. the very same things, just in different spaces before the eyes.

posted by )(( hannah mello ))( @ 5:09 PM