)(( hannah mello ))(

Steps & Portholes_)))

Most times, I write about what I've been chewing on for days or weeks or years. And, although that's mostly the case, I find that in writing do I find angles and nuances and perspectives-- like that of the chiseled angles of a diamond's cut-- that I hadn't anticipated when the writing began.

Today, I write not a premeditated topic, but a topic handed to me today via phone. A topic raised by my father. A topic that took 5 minutes to communicate, but will take a lifetime to live out.

It's the topic of Steps & Portholes.

It is my hope, that in the written and mental and experiential rumination of this topic, that I will live more freely, more creatively, and a richer life than if I hadn't given this topic room to enter into my world and push it into enlargement.

Steps.
My dad gave an example of a friend of his, who I also know. This woman could play a song on a violin like a virtuoso. She played ONE SONG. She ONLY played one song because she didn't want to take the risk of looking a fool-- she didn't want to spend the time injuring her own ears with practicing flawed and mediocre melodies. She didn't want to move from what she knew well. My dad said, "I play a thousand songs. I risk writing a bad song just so that maybe I could write a good song someday. I play so many songs that I play the fool when I attempt them. But, I play enough to actually play songs for people sometimes." This was his parable.

He continued by saying that we all have worlds that we CARE ABOUT deeply. We have dreams that are so core to who we are in our lifetime. We have all these unrealized or semi-realized or almost-realized parts of our lives. He said that all we need to do is take the one next step. THE ONE next step. The one NEXT step. The one next STEP.

THE ONE-- it's not often a leap or a dive or something dramatic like cliff-jumping. It's often just submitting something to a magazine, if only to get a rejection letter (his example)... or asking the facilities manager at work if you can play the grand piano in the events hall (my action yesterday).

NEXT-- sometimes it's the step that's meant to be 2 steps forward that is more appealing. I said over the phone to him at one point-- "Well, it's just not time yet" or "I'm not ready yet"-- when, IN FACT, the TRUTH is, it's just not time to do what I WANT to do-- I'm not ready yet to do what I WANT to do. It IS time for something, and I AM ready for something and that something is what is NEXT. !!

STEP-- a step means a movement TOWARDS. A step IMPLIES immediately movement forward. In fact, when we mean to say a step that's retroactive, we have to say "a step backwards". SO, immediately the word "step" implies active (meaning new/fresh) and forward movement.


Portholes.
At this point in the conversation, my dad stated that the ONE NEXT STEP being taken sometimes creates a PORTHOLE.

What is a porthole? I guess I'd say, it's a window to see the context or the destination of sea travel.

Yesterday, I stood on the very tip tip tip of Manhattan, steps away from my work, with hair blowing in the wind and eyes on the movement of the sea. Sea MOVES-- especially when you move with it, joined with a sail and a rudder and a boat and TOOLS to move with the sea, on the sea, towards new ground or new seas.

I'm in a boat at sea.

So, he was saying that taking the one next step is like creating a porthole.

As I'm reflecting on this, I see the imagery of being that boat at sea and literally CARVING A PORTHOLE in the side of the freaking ship. CARVING OUT that window.

Somehow, and ever so mysteriously, when we take that ONE NEXT STEP, not only does movement happen but VISION happens. Marked vision that doesn't go away. A permanently installed window that can be looked through again and again and again.

Another word would be "watershed"-- the one next step marks a watershed in the life of a person where the direction completely changes never to return to the previous trajectory.

I like the imagery of the porthole though because it's a WINDOW into what already is and is coming. Sometimes I forget that with a watershed, it's still the SAME SHED :) just a different angle of it. "^" :).... but with window, it's implied that the walls still exist-- the vessel is still the same-- just the AWARENESS is expanded along with the movement.

Ok.
So, both images don't completely go with each other.
There's no direct correlation with the imagery.
Just overlapping life realities-- both of which have a corresponding image:
STEPS and
PORTHOLES.

So, a toast.
A toast to TAKING that one next step.
A toast to the mysterious SIGHT that happens-- the porthole that happens-- when the one next step is taken.

(Yeah, cause...-- heck! When you take a step, you're seeing one different view, it may just be an inch difference, but it's a difference. :) Like those musical TVs that they used to make back in the 80's? For babies? They were thick plastic "TV's" that had a scene that moved -- Mickey Mouse or Little Bo Peep or whatever-- and played songs? Or like cartoon flip books that slowly show you the next part of the drawing and the next and the next so fast that plot movement happens as if it's computer animated? :)... I remember making those too in grade school... :) Ok. Parables. More parables.)

Ok. Back to the toast.
A toast to the action(s) that this inspiration is inspiring.
:)

posted by )(( hannah mello ))( @ 10:16 AM